Counselling for gay men and anxiety in London
Anxiety in gay men is significantly higher than in the general adult population. The stress and challenges that often accompany being a gay man can exacerbate feelings of anxiety.
The good news is that anxiety is treatable. Speaking to an Anxiety Counsellor who specialises in working with gay men can provide the support you need.
What is anxiety?
Anxiety is a common mental health condition affecting many gay men. It’s characterised by feelings of worry, fear, or unease, which may be constant or overwhelming. Anxiety can impact our thoughts, emotions, and behaviour, and it often interferes with our daily lives.
The severity of anxiety can vary from mild to severe, affecting gay men across all backgrounds, jobs, and stages of life.
- Mild anxiety: noticeable but manageable feelings of worry.
- Moderate anxiety: affects your ability to concentrate and carry out daily tasks.
- Severe anxiety: can make daily life feel overwhelming or impossible.
Anxiety is a valid mental health condition—it’s not a weakness or flaw. Seeking help is the first step to reclaiming control over your life.
Do I have anxiety?
Gay men may find it difficult to distinguish between everyday stress and chronic anxiety. If you’re constantly feeling on edge, worried, or experiencing panic attacks, it may be time to seek professional help. A GP can refer you to a mental health specialist, or you can contact an anxiety counsellor who understands the unique challenges gay men face.
Anxiety manifests differently for everyone, but there are common signs. The more symptoms you experience and the longer they persist, the more likely it is you’re dealing with anxiety.
Symptoms of anxiety can be psychological, physical, or social:
- Psychological symptoms: Constant worry, feeling on edge, irritability, fear, or dread.
- Physical symptoms: Racing heart, sweating, muscle tension, dizziness, or stomach problems.
- Social symptoms: Avoiding social events, feeling overwhelmed in public, or withdrawing from friends and family.
Symptoms of anxiety:
- Constant worry
- Feeling restless or "on edge"
- Racing heart or rapid breathing
- Trouble sleeping
- Panic attacks
- Avoidance of social situations
- Difficulty focusing at work
- Fear of judgement or rejection
Why am I anxious?
There is no single cause for anxiety. It may arise from a combination of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors.
For gay men, anxiety can be exacerbated by issues specific to sexuality and identity. Discrimination, internalised homophobia, or the pressure to “come out” can contribute to heightened anxiety. Some men might also experience anxiety related to sexual health, such as fear of an HIV diagnosis or navigating relationships in the context of HIV.
External pressures, such as relationship difficulties, financial strain, or work stress, can also trigger anxiety in gay men.
Causes of anxiety in gay men:
- Homophobia or discrimination
- Fear of rejection
- Internalised homophobia
- HIV diagnosis or sexual health concerns
- Isolation or loneliness
- Relationship challenges
- Financial stress or job loss
How can a gay therapist help gay men with anxiety?
Anxiety can make you feel like you’re always on high alert, struggling to relax or switch off. Working with a therapist who understands the challenges gay men face can be a turning point.
A gay therapist offers a safe, confidential space where you can unpack the thoughts and feelings contributing to your anxiety. You can work together to explore the root causes of your anxiety and develop coping strategies that are tailored to your specific needs and circumstances.
Therapy for anxiety helps you regain control, equipping you with practical tools to manage symptoms and reduce their impact on your daily life.
Benefits of therapy for anxiety:
- Reduced anxiety symptoms
- Improved focus and clarity
- Better sleep and relaxation techniques
- Enhanced self-esteem and confidence
- More fulfilling relationships
- A sense of peace and control over your life
How can you help yourself?
Living with anxiety can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. It’s important to treat yourself with kindness and patience during tough times. Here are five self-care tips that may help:
- Ground yourself: When anxiety strikes, try grounding exercises. Focus on your surroundings using your senses—what can you see, hear, smell, touch, or taste?
- Take it step by step: If getting out of bed feels like too much, break the day into small, manageable tasks. Start by taking a deep breath and counting to three.
- Create structure: Setting a routine can provide a sense of control. Simple acts like making your bed or preparing a meal can help you feel more organised.
- Move your body: Physical activity, like going for a short walk or stretching, releases endorphins, which naturally reduce anxiety.
- Give yourself permission to rest: It’s okay to take breaks when you need them. Allow yourself moments of rest without guilt.
Self-care toolkit for depression:
Be gentle with yourself...
- Practice self-compassion
- Acknowledge your feelings without judgement
- Celebrate small wins
Take small steps...
- Get out of bed, brush your teeth, and dress for the day
- Set realistic, achievable goals
Stay active...
- Take a short walk
- Try yoga or meditation
- Engage in hobbies you enjoy
Limit or avoid...
- Alcohol and drugs
- Social media and comparison apps
- Excessive news consumption
LGBTQ+ individuals are three times more likely to experience anxiety or depression compared to heterosexual individuals.
Source: Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), 2021
40% of gay men report experiencing chronic anxiety due to discrimination, fear of rejection, or societal pressures.
Source: Stonewall UK, 2018
35% of LGBTQ+ individuals identified anxiety related to internalised homophobia or societal stigma.
Source: Mental Health Foundation, 2018
FAQs
Can seeing a counsellor really help?
Yes, seeing a counsellor can significantly help individuals dealing with anxiety. Therapy provides a safe, confidential space where you can express your concerns and explore the underlying causes of your anxiety. A trained therapist offers guidance on managing symptoms, developing coping mechanisms, and fostering long-term mental health improvements. Research consistently shows that talking therapies like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) are highly effective for anxiety. CBT helps to identify negative thinking patterns and behaviours and replace them with more balanced approaches. In addition to helping manage symptoms, therapy with a counsellor who understands the unique challenges faced by gay men can provide validation and empathy, creating a space where individuals feel fully understood.
What are the benefit of having therapy for depression?
Therapy offers numerous benefits for managing anxiety, including:
- Reduction in Symptoms: Therapy helps reduce the intensity and frequency of anxiety attacks. Techniques like CBT, mindfulness, or even relaxation exercises can improve emotional regulation.
- Improved Coping Strategies: Counselling helps you develop tools for managing stress and preventing anxiety from controlling your life. This includes better ways to handle triggers.
- Enhanced Self-Esteem: By addressing underlying fears and improving your self-awareness, therapy can boost your confidence, self-worth, and sense of control over your life.
- Better Relationships: Managing anxiety can lead to healthier relationships, as it helps you communicate more effectively and understand the impact of your anxiety on others.
- Physical Benefits: Reducing anxiety can also alleviate physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, and sleep disturbances, improving your overall well-being.
Therapy offers personalised approaches and support, helping you achieve long-term relief from anxiety, especially when it feels overwhelming.
Why should I choose Benedicts to help me with my depression?
At Benedicts, we offer tailored therapy specifically for gay men, with a deep understanding of the unique challenges that come with being part of the LGBT community. Whether it's dealing with anxiety triggered by discrimination, societal pressure, or internal struggles like coming out, we provide a safe, confidential, and non-judgemental space.
Our approach is compassionate and client-centred, ensuring that your therapy is focused on your specific needs.
Choosing Benedicts means you’ll be working with a therapist who "gets it" someone who understands the intersection of sexuality and mental health. We combine proven therapeutic techniques with a warm, empathetic approach, helping you build effective strategies to manage anxiety and improve your well-being.
Do you offer therapy for depression near me?
Yes, at Benedicts, we offer therapy for anxiety both in-person in London and virtually, making it easy for you to access support wherever you are. Our virtual sessions allow you to receive professional help from the comfort of your own home, while our central London location is ideal for in-person appointments. No matter where you’re based in London or if you prefer online sessions, we’re here to provide you with the best care to manage your anxiety.
Can you recommend any self-help guides for depression?
Certainly! Here are a few self-help resources that can help you manage anxiety:
"Overcoming Anxiety: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques" by Helen Kennerley
This book provides practical strategies based on CBT, a highly effective method for managing anxiety. It includes exercises and techniques to help change negative thought patterns.
"The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund J. Bourne
A comprehensive guide with various tools like relaxation techniques, mindfulness exercises, and exposure therapy suggestions, this workbook is great for anyone looking to tackle anxiety step by step.
"Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World" by Mark Williams and Danny Penman
Focused on mindfulness meditation, this guide is helpful for those looking to reduce anxiety through mindfulness and present-focused techniques.
NHS Apps Library
For those preferring digital tools, the NHS Apps Library has several free apps designed to help with anxiety, such as Headspace and Catch It.
Call Ben on 07951 823 356 or email him info@benedicts.org.